People who follow my journey somewhat may know that at the beginning of 2018 I decided to break with a great many things and journey onwards. Up until recently, the road (business-wise) has been mainly littered with proverbial candy. Now, in what seems to be a resurgence of the global pandemic, a first real threat to the business has been culminating and will likely continue to do so. This blogpost will give you insight in my thought process and feelings of the past couple of months and what we’ve been doing so far.
The months, even years, that happened before the lockdown now feel like they were preparations for today. The moneybuffer the business amased, the hires, the projects, all of it suddenly shifted from ‘business as usual’ to ‘how is this helping us to survive?’. Let me shed some lights on the cards we’re holding.
Some Dreadful Things
Just before the lockdown, I hired two new people. Joanna is a seasoned event organiser, Aline a junior front end developer. The third employee, Geert, has had a good contract at a customer in media for some time and continues to do so. So steady income from one, while three (including me) are currently costing. We can see a slow decline in our moneybuffer monthly.
You can imagine that events got cancelled overal and it’s extremely difficult to find projects for juniors in such a market. Finding a project for myself at a reasonable rate seems to be difficult too.
For four months, we’ve been trying to find projects for either me or Aline, the front end developer, with no avail. This has been frustrating and stressful to say the least. Please realise that this includes: Countless times of ‘not hearing back’, doing interviews with no feedback or answer, being disappointed on a daily basis. This is difficult for me, but also impacts the morale Aline, who may start feeling like a burden rather than an asset.
Another aspect we face is that ITMatters.pl events were planned, but uncertain. For some weeks we were hopeful to organise them in a safe way. However, now we decided to hold only one event online. These experiences are rollercoasters in a time that one wishes stability.
Some Hopeful Things
Because we have a small organisation that values transparancy and communication I can truly feel everyone engaged to make the best out of this situation. They’re thinking, even to their own disadvantange, about ways to help the business forward. I can feel that they love being part of this. That they subscribe to this ideology. That they want this company to succeed.
This is probably the single proudest achievement for me.
We have a good buffer that will last us some time longer even though I can see that number declining slightly month after month.
I can see Geert taking his responsibility to continuously work and bring in the baseline which we need.
Joanna is using her strengths to enlist people to her cause. ITMatters.pl has had some major setbacks, yet she’s building a flame that is growing brighter day by day.
Aline and I? We’re building something I’m very hopeful for: RiskStormingOnline.com.
She’s shown incredible motivation and aptitude in digitalising this workshop which I feel can help so, so many software projects. We’ve been able to recruit the help of several more experienced people to help us get to something marketable quicker. Check out the beta version here: riskstorming.praxio.be
This Is Not a Cry For Help
This is a window into my head, do with that what you will. As an employer, you take the risk. You reap the profits when things go well and you carry the risks when they don’t. That’s the simple truth.
The complexity behind it, the feelings and many events contributing to your state of mind are much less obvious. There’s the great pressure of having people relying on the company for their income. It’s both a (self inflicted) blessing and burden.
Another challenge is the daily planning for an uncertain future and hoping you’re making the right choices. There’s a constant influx of trade-offs to be made.
Should I invest time to find Aline a project, or make sure she can focus on RiskStormingOnline.com?
Should I accept a less-paying job for myself, getting some extra money, but having less time for others, possibly burning myself out?
Should I put all my eggs in the RiskStorming-basket?
How much more time do we have in this ‘normal market’ until the pandemic hits again?
Do I ask people to go temporarily unemployed and save some money while leaving people in the cold?
These are a few of many considerations that I’ve had to deal with once, multiple times or even daily. All the while, checking in with people around me.
These same people, whom I respect and love, often second guess my decisions. They shake my convictions. They give me hope, but they don’t take it easy on me.
In the future, I may regret some decisions I’ve taken these days. However, I’ve learned a great deal of what it means to run a business during ‘good times’ in preparation of ‘bad times’. I’ve learned to treat advice for what it is: Glorified experiences. Very little people have dealt with running a company like mine, with its values and ideology in a global pandemic situation.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
– Baz Luhrman, Everybody’s free
We’re doing well. We could use some more good news here and there, but all in all, our foundations are steady and we’re building towards the future.